Monday, October 31, 2005

The Essence Of Tihar Festival

Well, the Tihar is the one of the biggest festival for Hindus. I celebrate this and honestly my favourite festival is Tihar. The songs, Deewali, Laxmipuja( worship to the Goddess Laxmi; the goddess of wealth), worship to Cow( national animal of Nepal and holy animal), worship to Crow(the messenger for people), worship to dog( the God of death Kal-bhairab(Yama) rides the dog and the dog helps us to cross the hell to go to heaven. According to Hindu Epic, there is the river between hell and heaven and everyone supposed to cross that river to get into heaven. The river is dangerous; with dragons, bog snakes and other terrible obstacles. The wisest people can cross that river easily and worst people are distroyed at that river.), and Bhai tika( putting tiks of seven colour by the sisters to the brothers), the sweetest dish( Sel roti, Anarasha and other...), Ping(swing), Deuse-Bhailo( the special song wich is sing only at Tihar), etc. are the things which makes the festival more interesting. Specially songs are best and the gathering is entertaining. There is the legend once in holy period, the Yama the King of hell was going to take away people from their life but his two sisters Ganga and Yamuna( Ganga is name of holi river which was in heaven but the people from earth need that river in earth so that is here in earth. Now Ganga is in India. Yamuna is also the river) decided to stop the action of their brother at least for one day. They both went to their brother at the day of Bhai Tika and put tika on his forehead and requested him not to kill the man at least for that day. Finally the Yama was happy to do so. So it's like the excuse from the death for this day. Every sister put the holy water around their brothers and that is the boundry which is out of Yama's reach. Yama can't cross that boundry. They break a hardest fruit that is to break(remove) the obstacles of their brothers. Anyway it's the culture and we have to appreciate the culture. The Tihar my best festival, I really missed in some ways.

Sunday, October 30, 2005

The hardest things for the street children and orphans

Whereever we go to meet the street kids, we want to know how they are there & how their life there? We ask several questions to them. They give answer simply. But we never try to think what can be their feelings after talking about their past & their hardest part of life? No one likes to remember their worst days. That makes them weak & can can ruin their present. The street kids have nothing to ruin because they are already ruined. We can get our work done after doing our work and just leave them. At most we share their pain with tear for few minutes that's all. They don't seem to feel sad suddenly but later it's result can be unbelievable. They may think that people are making the joke of their life. They have lost their best childhood days & trying to have fun in present with few laughs. Our work can disturb them to laugh. That means all the time sad & there is no way to escape except having drugs. We adults also smoke, take alcohol when we are in trouble, similarly they have the same heart but they are quite stronger than us If they are surviving. Just guess if someone asks about the untimely demise of our parents simply like what's your name? Who can say this is not making the joke of their life? We have to be like human at least in front of these children. But unfortunately I couldn't be that myself. There is only one thing that is convincing myself is we are doing in favour of these children. Almost the children lie about their life & experience I think it's because they don't want to open their past.
So, let's try to be human. Not for all time but for sometime. For the sake of those innocent and sad children. And let's stop trying to hurt them.

Saturday, October 29, 2005

GORA! precious people and as Bank?

There are many coloured people in the world. When we see many people in a same place, it seems like some are more precious than others. The most respected people in Nepal I got are Gora(tourists) people. Only whites are respected. Blacks are hatred no matter they are from America or from Australia. So white is favourite colour in Nepal. Wherever I went during our research, I was respetced. I felt great hospatility for me too. It was the best days of my life(probably). Even the directors from big organisation were happy to talk to me. It was crazy!! When we went to village & met people there, everybody were curious to see my companions. Fortunately they were the most kind people & quick to learn everything. Gora with very good manner & smile attracted those people. Their days was best only because they saw Gora & even talked to them!! Even the educated people & my family members were seem to be proud to me because they were the host family for Gora & their son was the guide of them. Even my one relative went to my friend to suggest me not to spend more because I might have earned a lot(they think Gora as the bank). In village may be many people are meeting my family to talk about my marriage hoping their daughter's future will be best with me!! It's too crazy. Everyone look at me with respect. Are Gora people something more precious than us? Or are they more than human? Like Superhuman? I don't know why people think so about these people. None think that they have problem as our's. I got noone who thinks even Gora can be poor like us.
Anyway Gora are also normal human. Only difference between these people & us is the culture & social composition. They have better opportunities & different management with advanced technology. They have the feelings like our's, they feel pain, hurt, they have the characteristics like us. But it's interesting to think about these things.

Friday, October 07, 2005

A Long Walk Through The Rough Way Of My Life

Don't know how & from where to start? I am walking on the rough way of my life very well although my life was very tough in the begining. I think that life is an adventure so we have to dare it. Now I think all these obstacles r just for wisdom & I always try to overcome them. They r just for new change. I am trying to bring revolutionary change in my & other's life. I know this is very complex task but I need to dare that. I have heard a saying that we must be very very good at something, which is very very hard to do. Only then we will be success. Although I couldn't feel any charmness & preetyness in my life, I am trying to express how happy life is.
Although I grown up in a tough environment, I couldn't be too strong. Even small things can change my feelings. This is really hard for me to deal with. I always try to be more patience & will be trying untill life is no more. I got many opportunities for study, & for other but couldn't get that everyone wants to get after getting good educational qualifiation. I know I deserve better opportunities but the environment I am living in is different. Unlike other region, here I can do best only If I have money & power. Indeed wealth is nothing but sometimes it is everything. The case of sometimes hapens here. While I was small I used to imagine what will hapen If I become a doctor? Not only I but everyone like me have dream like this but too few of them achieve whatever they like. No matter how intellegent you are & how needy you are, you can't get better opportunities unless you have good power.
Still I am trying to achieve my goal without these. I am creeping to reach that destination. Too few people are encouraging me & helping me. Almost time I feel ashamed & self humuliated because of that. How much thay can help me & for how long? Until death? I practiced many lifestyles but I couldn't get rid of dependency. Everytime I need someone & something to help & fortunately I get all the time. If I see through the eye of my society & it's people, I am great but I could never be great in my own eyes. People, friends praise me even in small action but I could never be praisable in my own eyes. I can hardly find my moment of joys. I could not smile from my heart. I have everything from one angle but still not happy with my life. I always try to discover what is lacking in my life? I have friend, families, well wishers but why still sad? May be this will be the question for me all the time.
I will be moving ahead with this simple question. May be because I couldn't get what I deserved? I run with my documents in many streets hoping my certificate with good first devision marks will be rewarded but I return with frustrated face. My labour is insulted everytime. Another part of my life is bend to social issues. Actually this is my greatest hobby & I want this to remain only hobby. I got many people involving in these field to be corrupted that's why they need to manage money for their family, their education, etc. Because they took these field as their profession. I think it should not be like profession & like business. May be my life will be tougher than this but I won't take these as my profession. I am struggling for survival of own but still thinking about other's life. This seems funny but I think at least I can try. I know failures are the pillars of success. I am welcoming more failures only to see how success like.
I am eager to feel deep smile from my heart. Let see what hapens next. I am looking at my target but I don't know the way. That is narrow, rough & probably not safe. But still moving on to feel how life is. Only to kiss my dreams!!!!!!!